I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
