apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
