...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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