I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
