You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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