1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
