Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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