Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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