If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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