ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
