Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
