Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
