THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
