i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
