Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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