Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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