u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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