Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
