I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize