he thought i was a dude.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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