How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
