Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Me too!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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