And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
