she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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