Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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