we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize