She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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