We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
