It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
this hospital has no fireball
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
