WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
