I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
