Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
