it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
