I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
high people should be assigned attendants
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
