Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
...so i touched it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
me + whiskey = a bad person
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
