You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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