I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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