our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
