How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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