yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
