Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
A bitchslap is in order.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
