3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize