Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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