Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
