I cockslap morals
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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