My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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