if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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