i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
