just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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