I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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