He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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