well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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