She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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