How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
i think i just lost a toe
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
