I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
