You just made me feel so damn special
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
