At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
