Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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