But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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