I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
