i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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